7 Kinds of People Support
Surrounded by supportive people
In the blog post 360 Degree Support, I listed seven kinds of support we all need. One is People Support – individuals who help us in some way.
These might be people you know well or casually, or even people you’ve never met who inspire you. Some people provide you with several forms of support. Others may provide only one specialized form of support.
People support can take at least seven forms to help us grow and flourish. As you read this list, think about who provides you with each type of support.
· Intimacy: People who provide you with closeness, warmth and acceptance. People with whom you can express your feelings without being self-conscious or afraid of being judged. People you trust who are easily available to you.
· Shared values or goals: People who are passionate about the values that you are passionate about. People who are striving for similar goals, who share your concerns. People with whom you can exchange favours.
· Self-worth: People who respect your competence in your role. People who understand the difficulty or value of your work. People who respect and recognize your skills. People who value your contributions.
· Guidance and expansion: People who challenge you to play bigger. People who provide you with advice to solve problems. People who mobilize you to take steps, achieve goals and otherwise take action.
· Practical help: People who provide tangible services or make resources available to you. People you can depend on in a crisis.
· Opportunities to nurture: Adults or children for whose well-being you can take some responsibility. Adults or children with whom you feel a special sense of purpose through the impact you have on their development.
· Fun: People who make you laugh. People in whose presence you relax and enjoy. People who share your passion for sports, culture or other activities you love for the sheer joy of them.
A “people support” activity
You might find this activity useful, to assess the “people support” in your life:
For now…
1. Think about the people support you have in your life.
In what areas of your life do you have strong support?
Are there areas of your life where stronger support would be helpful?
Do you notice some people appearing in many categories? Do each of these categories also have other individuals in them? If not, might you be too dependent on a few individuals?
2. Based on what you have noticed…
For areas where you have strong support, appreciate those who support you, and appreciate yourself for attracting and maintaining such great support…
For areas where you have less support, think of ways you could expand the number or types of people that could support you in this way,
If you may be overly dependent on a few individuals for many forms of support, think of other individuals who could expand the support available to you in some or all of these areas.
…and for the future…
Once you’ve done this exercise, think about the “you” that you intend to be in one year or two years, or five years. What kind of people would you love to have around you then? What can you do right now to begin meeting those kinds of people?
A personal note
For several months earlier this year, I was organizing my life around medical appointments. I was grateful and humbled by all the ways people supported me. They brought food; drove me to appointments; made me laugh; sent cards; sent money; connected me to others who’d had a similar experience…
I have never felt so supported in my life – by family, friends, health care professionals and people I didn’t even know.
During the same time frame, I moved to a different home. While I was recuperating from surgery, other people were moving furniture and setting up my new home. I simply walked into a comfortable organized new home. I could even have a nap in a bed with freshly-laundered sheets if I felt like it. It was the easiest move I’ve ever made, thanks to the people who helped.
For several weeks, I had five-days-a-week medical treatment appointments. When people found out I was going to have daily appointments, they volunteered to drive me to and from appointments. The biggest scheduling challenge was, “Who will be least offended if they don’t get asked?” There were more volunteers than days of appointments!
For most of my adult life, I’ve been fiercely independent. I’ve not always found it easy to receive. My experience earlier this year certainly helped me get better at receiving! I still get teary-eyed with gratitude and humility when I think about how supported I was during those months.
It also made me think. If we humans have the potential to be this supported by one another, think how supported we are by divine consciousness!
May we have the wisdom and grace to perceive it and receive it.
Reflection questions
Which of the seven forms of people support
are most relevant for you right now?
How do you or could you experience these forms of support?